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I'm not the life of the party. Nine times out of 10, I will choose sleep over meeting new people. Ten times out of 10, I will choose playing Dungeons and Dragons, catching up on Hulu, looking at superhero memes on Tumblr, watching a movie that critics gave half a star or even cleaning my house over meeting new people. Why then, you may be asking yourself, is Cat telling me how to be the life of the party? Here's why. When I do get out into the world, I recognize that my lack of enthusiasm and propensity for hermitism is not winning me any social graces. I give you: How to be the life of the party, in reverse.

1. Stay awake: This is harder than it sounds. Work is hard. Life is hard. When I get to my weekends, I'm usually fresh out of energy. Resist the urge to curl up in your car. Get yourself a cup of coffee or a Red Bull and get out there.

2. Leave your house: It's the best place in the world, it's the paradise of your own making. Why the hell are you leaving it? I don't know, you're the one that wants to be the life of the party, so move.

3. Don't be surly: You might not think you're being surly, but trust me, I've been out lately, and at least half of you are. Be self-aware. You know that thing that people say about counting to 10 before you say something out loud? I'm terrible at that. You should do that.

4. Take a compliment: The compliment. It's an important part of small talk and discourse in general. When you are paid a compliment, here's what you should do: Smile. Say thank you. Return a compliment. Here's what you should not do: Scowl. Shout. Turn and run.

5. Remember to nourish yourself: Humans need food. Especially ones who just want to go home. We don't need to add hanger (read: hungry and angry equals hangry) to this equation. Also: stay hydrated.

6. Leave distractions at home: Your phone. Your sketchbook. Your book. These should not be your escape. You made the effort, so do the damn thing. Let the party be your escape, as much as you may want to finish that chapter.

It may be too late for me, but learn from my mistakes. Go forth, and don't be me.

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