I want to talk about something important. Something I know is on all of your minds, and I'm just going to come right out and talk about it. I'm talking about hot dads. That's right: sexy dudes with children.
Let's back up. I'm in a band. I've been the bassist for Hot Lady Band for about two years, and it's been a fantastic experience. I love music, I love the experience of performing, and I beyond love jamming with my bandmates. The majority of us have only been playing for a short time, and we're all growing by leaps and bounds musically. So much so that we've begun writing our own original songs. This brings me to hot dads.
Adrienne Gross, one of our guitarists and vocalists, is the mastermind behind this now-classic track. Yes, classic. The lyrics vary. In fact, as you read this, she rolled out a genius new verse at our show last Sunday ("You've traded in shots and bongs for stocks and bonds, saving for that college education"), but the theme remains. Women love a good looking guy with a baby strapped to him.
The song is consistently a crowd-pleaser, and I get why. It's funny, it's irreverent. It has an infectious bass line, and Adrienne's delivery is on point. The audience at our November show was howling at some of the suggestive lyrics, for example: "spend one night with me, and you could be a hot dad!" But, to be clear, the song is a satire rooted in truth. Hot Lady Band is not out trolling the streets, catcalling innocent men pushing strollers through the sculpture garden. We're not harassing married guys or bringing new mothers to tears. The song is really an ode to responsible men, and how attractive a conscientious dude can be — especially a tattooed one.
I was recently asked what the inspiration for Hot Dads was, and the question reminded me of a bit of a Savage Lovecast that I recently listened to. Savage Love, for those of you who are not familiar, is a sex and relationship advice podcast and column by writer and activist Dan Savage. He deals with some crazy topics, but something he said to a woman fretting over having sent a sexy story to a man she had just met resonated with me. The quality that all of us are looking for in a mate, far more important than any other, is good judgment. The woman hadn't simply been too forward; she had exhibited poor judgment.
Now, imagine you see a together-looking guy walking down the street with a happy baby in his arms. What does that tell you? Hey, you spawned! That looks like a totally functional human being with you! That means you're likely financially stable (babies are expensive, I hear), and also a decent enough role model. Good judgment all around!
So, hot dads, I said it. On behalf of Hot Lady Band (Sara, Abbie, Adrienne, Dani, Jodi, and myself): we love what you do, and your tattoos. And (if you are single and happen to catch the eye of a single member of HLB) we'll make out with you, because you have excellent judgment, and we find that attractive on a lot of levels.